I looked at the date of my last blog today and said "2 weeks? really? it's been that long?" And why am I so lazy with the pictures? Well, I'm afraid it's not going to get better anytime soon. Hehehe. We've all had some colds and stuff (nothing like March!) but I am finally feeling better again. And just in time too: Evan was the biggest pill today! He's been so much better lately too, it was kind of a blow. We always have our cycles where things will be up and then hit rock bottom, but we've only been on the upswing for like a week or two, so I was hoping the "good" times would last a little longer. Of course, Justin decides to follow suit and be clingy and needy. Ok, for him, anyways, He's probably just being a normal kid, but he's the mellow one so I need him to be "good" all the time. You know, for sanity's sake!
Justin is so much fun to play with, sometimes I wish I could block my messy house from my mind, have Evan be preoccupied with something for a few hours and just play with Justin. I could never play with Evan when he was this age like I can with Justin. Evan just doesn't do "freeplay" as I think of it. Justin is very good at spontaneous, crazy fun and I just don't do enough of that with him. I'm either too exhausted from feeding, clothing, changing, cleaning up after ect. two children or too preoccupied with Evan to really play with Justin much.
Plus, even though I really don't love to clean, I like things to BE clean. And I have a confession to make: I enjoy things being clean more than I enjoy playing with the kids! I feel much more satsifaction looking upon a clean kitchen (even when I know it's only going to last 30 min. tops) than I do from a 15 min. lightsaber duel. In my endless quest to get Evan to help me to clean, I told him one day when he refused to help me yet again, that if he helped me clean then I would have more time to play with him. I said, "If I didn't have to spend so much time cleaning up after everyone then I could play with you more!" But really? What is the happy balance here? If I magically woke up tomorrow to a perfectly clean house would I spend the whole day playing with the kids? Probably not! But I'd definitely take them all somewhere so the house would stay clean for a couple of hours.
14 years ago
6 comments:
I do the same thing. I spend so much time cleaning that I look at my day and see that I haven't played with my kids much so I start beating myself up about that, but I can't just let the house fall apart. And then when I do play with the kids, it doesn't take long before I become ancy about some unfinished chore.
Kathleen! we are kindred spirits! lol! i'm glad i'm not the only one who experiences "the need to clean" constantly :)
I too, SO relate here. Unfortunately I can't seem to just play in the midst of a mess because I feel like my job isn't done, but really, what is the most important job here? We all know the answer, but I haven't quite figured out how to turn off the clean switch and just spend some more time where it really counts. I think we all struggle with that to a certain degree. Good luck! Let's all try to play a little bit more today!
I remember the first time I visit taught you with April. You seemed so comfortable as a mother as you spontaneously played with Evan. I'm kind of surprised to read about your relationship with Evan. I would have never guessed.
I have decided that my perception of what a good mom is has nothing to do with reality. We all prefer cleaning to playing more often than not. We love our kids so much but feel guilty for not spending every waking second playing with them. I think as long as we find at least a few minutes here and there to really show our kids we love them, we're doing fine. I think you're a great mom!
I always feel like I can play with the children after the housework is done. I guess it has helped that I now have 2 children in school, so I actually have time to do the housework while they are gone. the downside is that we don't play together as much because they are at school, then homework, extracurricular activities, chores, etc....we can't beat ourselves up too much about it tho. we just have to do the best that we can and try to enjoy the little ones while they are little. they grow up way too fast.
Yeah, no one comes to visit and says, "Wow, Amy, your child is so well-played-with today! What are your secrets?" Where's the instant gratification of seeing a mother's time well-spent on her chidren?!!
...Actually, come to think of it, the instant gratification does come sometimes, and for me it's in the form of children who are better-behaved because they've already had their mommy-time. Why don't I recognize and remember this more?
It's comforting to hear others struggle with this. It helps wake me up a little to the importance of finding that balance.
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