Vegas or Bust

My husband's family decided for Christmas this year we would all meet in Las Vegas where Steve's brother Derrick lives. It seemed to be a good half way meeting point for all of us so we all agreed to 2 nights and one full day of family fun right before Christmas (so we could all spend Christmas day at home). At any rate, I've only been to Vegas twice, and neither time left me with pleasant memories. The first time I got food poisoning from one of those famous buffets and the second time I spent the week with Steve working at a trade show while me, him and Evan were all miserably sick. Yet this time would be totally different right? Good memories were going to happen this time!
The day before we left, my mom warned me to watch out for the weather. I wasn't too worried though because we were heading south, into warmer territory right? Plus, when we went to CA last year for Christmas, THAT was some yucky weather we ran into. This "rain" or whatever would be a breeze compared to that. So when we left in the morning around 9am we were in good spirits, and ready for the 6 hour drive ahead of us. However, sometime after Nephi, it all changed. The weather got nasty, and one county, who will rename nameless, did not believe in plowing I-15. We saw about 20 cars that had slid off the road and we ourselves were down to like 10 mph till we finally stopped dead for about 20 min. It was awful! When we finally made it through that harrowing experience, the weather turned to rain. Going through Arizona, we saw the super scary Virgin River, all swollen and raging and were glad to see the slightly drier roads of Nevada. Then about 40 miles from Vegas, our tire blew. At first, we didn't panic because we knew we had a spare tire. What we didn't know, was that we didn't have all of the tools to change it. Our used van evidently never came with a jack and a lever ect. (so if you are reading this now and haven't had to change a flat on your vehicle yet, go check right now to make sure you have all the tools needed to do so!!) So, after about a half hour, we figured out we wouldn't be able to change our tire. We then decided to call our car insurance company for some roadside assistance, however, the lady my husband talked to was pretty unhelpful and said she would send help from Moapa (wha?? weren't we closer to Mesquite or Vegas??) and it would take 2 hours for someone to reach us. Luckily, our father-in-law happens to also be a saint and by that time had made it to Vegas (after having a 9 hour drive himself) and volunteered to come rescue us. By that time it was dark, but he managed to find us and help protect my husband from getting run over while he wrestled with the tire in the dark and rain. We made it to Vegas on our spare around 8pm, 11 hours from when we started! I have to give it to the kids though, they were SO amazingly good. Only Owen freaked out a little and at one point fell while playing in the van and had blood coming from his mouth (which I could never quite figure out where exactly in his mouth it was coming from). Other than that, we survived on snacks, goodwill, prayers (thanks mom for saying you'd be praying all day for us, I'm positive those prayers kept us from getting the flat during the blizzard or while driving very close to the scary river) and peeing in bottles (thanks Cassie for that idea!). And we had a nice visit with Steve's family and only got stuck on I-15 for about 15 min. on the way back home for pothole repair. The End. Merry Christmas Everyone!!

Friday Confessional

It's Glamazon time! Let's start the confessing--

I confess...
My last couple of blogs have sounded like a lengthy church talk. I guess I haven't spoken in church for awhile, so feel free to call me bishop! I'm actually prepared this time!
I guess I have just had all these thoughts on my mind and have felt compelled to write about them. I don't really keep a journal, crazy, but my blog is the closets thing I've got, so there you go.
I also confess I want my happy baby back. I think my 15 month old turned 2 this week. Or maybe all those sudden tantrums are caused by teething?? I don't know, but I miss being able to move something away from his curious hands and not have him cry and scream about it for 15 min. I also miss not being able to worry about all of the bathroom doors being closed all of the time. The kid has been making a beeline for the toilet every chance he gets. Yuck.
Here is my last confession for the week--
I wish I had never started potty training my 3 year old.
There, I said it.
And I mean it.
He woke up last night at 1am because he was in pain. From not peeing. I finally convinced my hysterical, crying, irrational child to sit on the toilet. After a small eternity he finally peed and splash guard my butt, I got drenched in the process (b/c being a pee coach requires you to be hugging the child while he's trying to pee at 1am apparently). Anyways, I have now instituted the "You Must Pee 3 Times A Day" Rule to prevent future middle of the night hysterical awakenings from being in pain from not peeing.
And yes, I did try to convince him to wear diapers again! But he refuses. Sigh. You would think a kid so bent on not putting a diaper back on would have better peeing skills. Oh well, maybe next week will be better...

More on Missing Out

As mothers especially, we need personal inspiration, but more importantly, our children need it too! Not only to see us handling every day life with the guidance of the Spirit, but also in turn, teaching them how to use it too. If we don't show them the way, how will we expect them to learn on their own how the Holy Ghost speaks to them? Another quote" In today’s world we must provide quiet, reflective times for our children and teach them how to listen to the still, small voice. With all the blessings our modern age has given to us, let us not give up the things that promote the workings of the Holy Ghost: time alone to pray, ponder, meditate, and read the scriptures; and time with family undisturbed by noise, distractions, and too many activities."
I keep hearing lately about overscheduling our kids' days and their over use of media. Those things rob us of our time with our kids and lessens their opportunity to listen to our Father in Heaven. I know I am guilty of these things! I let my kids play as many video and computer games and watch as much tv as they want in the name of trying to clean up, get dinner made, do the laundry or I just plain don't have the energy to play with them. Yet I know I'm not doing them any favors. I keep hearing too about how the greatest gift you can give your kids is your time. I try to remember that when a child is bugging me for the 5th time about something while I'm trying to unload the dishwasher! Once again, those little things add up..
A final quote from Conference"We live in a wonderful day of opportunity, learning, and prosperity. But with these wonders come also the degrading deceits of the adversary, trying to push their way into the fabric of our lives, even attempting to burrow into the safe refuge of our homes. If we will receive the Holy Ghost as our guide and be wise in knowing, guarding, and building upon this gift, we will not be deceived. And as evil increases in the world, there will be a compensating power of the gift of the Holy Ghost for the righteous."

Even More on the Subject: the Temporal Side

I'm doing both of these posts in the same day because I believe that handling the small things in an inspired and wise way requires not only the Spirit for guidance, but also the desire for more self control on my part. I did an experiment yesterday. I decided that instead of getting angry instantly at every little annoying or frustrating thing my children did, I would do everything in my power not to lose my cool. I prepared myself mentally for this challenge and remembered to do my breathe easy exercises when things felt particularly stressful. I also decided to remember to see the humor in things and not take my childrens' actions as personal attacks on me. I figured by the end of the day, if I really could not lose my self control, I would be totally exhausted! And oh what a day! All my children were being challenging, I did not think I was going to get through the day without losing it. However, I somehow managed to survive until bedtime and the amazing thing that I discovered was that I was NOT exhausted! I didn't feel drained! I could not believe that keeping my cool expended less energy than not getting mad and frustrated at every little thing. That outcome had never occurred to me! So what a lesson in what concentrating on how I'm going to act on a daily basis when things happen and making that decision beforehand on how I would handle things can make such a difference.
I really appreciated Carrie's comment in my original post, (I hope she doesn't mind me quoting her): "I want my kids to be happy and to be able to laugh and smile even in not so funny circumstances. And you're right, it is a whole lot of little things that all add up to make a life. So the little things can't bring us down so easily." Carrie's comment made me realize that I need to remember I'm setting the example for my children in how to handle every day life. If they see me get frustrated at every little thing and not deal with it well, how can I expect them to cope any better than me? It made me realize that when the little things in my childrens' every day life add up at the end of the day, I want them to add up to happy :)

More on the Subject

So how do we go about handling the simple things in a wise and inspired way? When I lived in Salinas, I had a good friend who was the mother of twin boys who were about 2 years old at the time with another child on the way. Life seemed full of chaos for her but she was always so sweet and cheerful, truly one of the nicest people I ever met. I wondered how she kept her sanity intact when life was far from perfect for her. It had to be more than just her sweet personality, right? One person could only contain so much patience, right? Well, as I spent more time with her I found out her "secret". She said she followed the promptings of the Holy Ghost constantly. She said she even prayed about when she should put them down for naps when she was having trouble getting them to sleep. She said one time her boys wouldn't stop screaming and she had tried everything she could think of to calm them down when finally she felt prompted to sing a hymn to them and it worked she said. She said she had even tried to sing other songs before that and they didn't work (and she has a truly beautiful voice by the way), but by following that still small voice and not doubting (cause she could have thought, um, I just tried singing...) she was able to calm her children down. I am reminded of another Ensign article "Lullaby for Timothy" that quotes"By putting our trust in the Lord, we can give our worries to Him, and He in turn will lift us, giving special gifts to sustain us—often through other people."
So through the example of my friend there, what I'm trying to say is that I think handling the little things in a wise and inspired way is about having the gift of the Holy Ghost. When we are in tune with the Spirit, I think we let our gut reactions move over for the quiet promptings of the Holy Ghost instead. I will admit, I have a hard time with this. And I know a lot of people only feel comfortable praying for the bigger things in life--illnesses, husband finding a new job or traveling safe on a long trip, but what I think what we forget is pointed out in this next conference talk--
"As disciples of Christ, we must make the gift of the Holy Ghost a conscious, daily, prayerful part of our lives. President Boyd K. Packer, President of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, said, “No one of us can survive in the world of today, much less in what it soon will become, without personal inspiration.”⁴ UAdd a Note How can we use this heavenly gift as a vital compass for our daily actions? We must believe that even in our weaknesses, the still, small voice we feel comes from our Father. We must pray and ask and seek and then not be afraid when answers come into our heart and mind. Believe they are divine. They are."
I feel like I've let the chaos and constant drudgery of every day life drown out the Spirit for quite a while now. Which, in realizing this, makes me feel foolish because I am denying myself my greatest source of help and comfort. I remember a time when I used to know how the Spirit prompting me felt, I could recognize it readily, I need to rediscover that in my life. I don't know why I've been floundering on my own for so long, it just seemed like more things on my to do list: read scriptures, pray regularly, go to the temple I had to do in order to have the constant companionship of the Holy Ghost, I just felt like I could do without those things bugging me for awhile. Elder Jairo Mazzagardi said "What may appear to be of little importance, such as going to bed late, not praying for a day, skipping fasting, or breaking the Sabbath--such little slips--will make us lose sensitivity little by little, allowing us to do worse thing." and may I add, lose sensitivity to the promptings of the Spirit as well. In short, I believe there isn't any situation too small or inconsequential that the Spirit can help us with if we let it. The Lord is on our side! I know I want to recommit myself to doing what's necessary and right to be in tune to have this great gift in guiding and helping me to be the Mother I want to be.
However, we aren't the only ones on the missing out end too though, someone else misses out when we aren't getting inspiration from the Lord. I will talk more on this tomorrow, I think we've had enough food for thought for now :)

Enough is Enough

I never took much thought as to what kind of mom I was going to be before I had kids. Surprisingly, it just wasn't something I worried about. I guess you could say as I've been figuring things out along the way, there has begun to arise in my mind a clearer image of the kind of mom I'm trying to become. No worries, this mom is by no means perfect, but she does have more patience, kindness and is made of sterner stuff. I'm not inviting comparisons here to other moms, though I think it's good to have moms around you that you admire and can pick up some good mothering skills from, but it's more like, hey, I notice I get angry about every 30 sec. I don't want to do that anymore!
I was reading a general conference talk yesterday by Per G. Malm and a particular story he told really hit me. He said his grandmother sent one of her young children to get some eggs but on the way home broke them all. It didn't seem like the child did this intentionally, but a friend of the family who was there at the time said the child should be punished. However, the mother was like, nah, that won't get my eggs back, let's just make some pancakes and be happy. I thought about how I would have reacted because, let's face it, whether it's broken eggs, spilled juice, pee accidents, that scene described by the general authority could be reenacted a thousand different ways in a thousand different scenarios in my house every day. I admit, I would have gotten mad about the eggs and would have at least yelled at the child. I'm not proud to admit that, but I usually go with my gut reaction and my gut reaction does not usually tell me to remain calm and brush it off. But this is why all those kinds of little moments add up, Per Malm says "In our day-to-day actions, it is often the small and simple things that will have a long-lasting impact. What we say, how we act, and how we choose to react will influence not only ourselves but also those around us. We can build up, or we can tear down." Isn't that perfectly true with our day to day lives with our children? He also goes on, and this part really gets me, to say "When we learn to handle the small and simple daily things in a wise and inspired way, the result is a positive influence that will solidify harmony in our souls and build up and strengthen those around us. This is so because everything which invites us to do good “is sent forth by the power and gift of Christ; wherefore [we] may know with a perfect knowledge it is of God” (Moroni 7:16)."
Ah, so I think the key to the Mom I Want To Become is doing better with how I react to the small things, those every day little situations that can drive us crazy if we let them. And I will be the first to admit, I usually let them! But who couldn't use some more harmony in the home? It reminds me of the saying "Let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me". Kind of cheesy, but to the point. Moms usually set the mood of the home so I'm determined to work on mine. Also, it got me thinking, how do we go about handling the simple daily things in a wise and inspired way? I will talk about my thoughts on this more tomorrow. In the meantime, if you do have any thoughts on this, please share!

Random Is As Random Does

When I was working at the library tonight in the backroom with another gal, she came over to her stack of stuff she had left behind and commented on how she can't seem to stick to one thing and get it done and then move on to the next thing. She said she was just flitting around tonight from one thing to the next, forgetting about other things she had started doing. I just laughed and told her she pretty much just described my every day life. I feel scatterbrained all the time, forgetting what I'm "supposed" to be working on, always telling the kids to remind me if they want something because maybe on the 4th time they ask for a cup of juice I'll remember that I was on my way to the fridge to get it. I wonder if it's just "mom brain" or if I've really just gone crazy sometimes! I always seem to be on my way to doing something only to end up doing 5 other things before I get that one thing accomplished. Example: I start making muffins only to realize I need to empty the dishwasher first only to remember I need to call the scouts to remind them of den meeting only to realize I forgot to email my visiting teaching report only to discover I can't find a coupon I wanted to use tomorrow when I go grocery shopping only to not be able to not find the grocery list I need for tomorrow while making Justin some lunch and getting some toys for Owen, wait! wasn't I making muffins???
My mom told me today when she comes over she doesn't dwell or even notice the piles of dirt and clutter that may be eyesores to me. (probably the sweetest thing said to me all day! sniff!) She said to just do what I can and enjoy my kids basically. I thought about that tonight when things were slow at the library. How I think I need to remember that everything I do should be based on love. Love of my family. Am I bugged about the dirty dishes because I love my family or because I take pride in keeping the kitchen clean? I guess what I'm saying is I'd like to remember that if it comes down to giving love and time to my children versus letting my messy room remain messy for another day (or two, or three...) then I should choose my family. I guess it's something we probably all realize, but I think I needed the reminder today :)

The Nightmare that is Potty Training

So I finally did it, I started that bizarre, horrible adventure that is teaching a child to poop and pee in the toilet. I did not want to go there. I've been dreading this part of my life ever since my children were born. Evan's training (like everything else with him) did not go well so I was in no rush with Justin. In fact, I didn't even know how I wanted to approach it this time. So when I was checking in books one night at the library, one came into my hands that was "Toilet Training in Less Than One Day". Who knows? It could work, right? What did I have to lose? It wasn't a long book, but I took a few months to read it twice and take notes and all that so I could be "prepared." That's just my style, people. Anyways, after setting a date to "train" like 3 times, I finally bit the bullet and had my mom watch my one year old for me on Thursday so I could try this whole method out. I had 5 hours to accomplish my goal. At first, it seemed to go ok. We used a doll that he gave water to and then he helped her pee in the potty. Then the doll had an "accident" so he could see what happens when accidents occur. Then it was Justin's turn to pee in the potty and he sat on it very willingly, but nothing came out after 10 or so minutes and the training kind of went downhill from that. The worst was when he had an accident and had to "practice" going potty quickly from different points of the house. He just dissolved into tears and wouldn't stop crying no matter how upbeat I was and said cheerily "Mommy loves Justin. Mommy does not like wet pants. Justin wet his pants. Justin needs to practice." In effect, he only did that training thing once, which means, when he has accidents now, which he does all of the time, he is learning nothing from them. Sigh. Also, he'll do something amazing, like go all night with underwear on, wake up dry and then go potty, but then have like a poop accident right in front of me. Sometimes I think he gets it and sometimes I don't think he gets it at all. So, instead of being trained all in one day (which, in the book means the child recognizes on his own he has to go potty, stops what he's doing, approaches toilet, pulls his own pants down, sits down, pees, flushes, pulls pants back up and goes back to what he's doing without any help from me) I think we are having a typical potty training experience after all. Well, it was worth a try right? Maybe if we would have had more time, or I would have worked through his tantrum and tears and made him practice after an accident...Hopefully, gulp, the next child will go better?