14 years ago
Monday, July 28, 2008
Some "Routine" Advice Needed
So now that I'm not working anymore, I'm feeling the need to get my home life a bit more organized. However, thinking about it and actually doing it...well, there's my problem. I'm not sure how structured I should make my daily life with the kids be. So, I'm asking all of you--what kinds of routines do you have at home? Do you have a specific time of day that you do crafts, play outside, do chores (with the kids and without them), go places (the park, a relative's house, the library ect.) teach the gospel, teach abc's ect.? Here's how things are so far: We pretty much get up around 7am, have breakfast, then i put the baby down for a nap around 9am and have evan watch a show while i shower and then i get everyone else ready. Then we have lunch at 11am then do whatever and then naptime for the baby is at 1pm. I may play with evan then or try to get some cleaning done. Dinner around 5pm and then try to have evan in bed around 8pm. Of course, all those times are approximate and change according to circumstances. I do go to my sister's house a lot and we also have been playing in the backyard a lot this summer. Haven't done a lot of crafts, and evan's not much for being taught anything by me. lol. But I've been thinking a lot about our routine and want to find a happy medium where we are more structured than we are now, but not so structured we can't just pick up and go places if we want to. I'm just not sure at this point how to do that. Please Help!!
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4 comments:
Is your current routine working for you? Are you comparing yourself to other stay at home moms who seem to have more of a routine but your routine is working? Because if it is working, leave it alone!
I have never really had a structured routine. Mine has always been similar to yours. When Gavin was in school I had to put Gwen on a schedule and I have been trying to stick to that schedule since kindergarten will start in less than a month. That is the first time I have ever made a baby get up at a certain time in the morning or nap at a certain time. It works really well with her personality and the fact that she is bottle fed and not breast fed on demand.
Since my kids never want to be outside I have to schedule it in or it doesn't happen. We all go out in the morning and Gwen goes back in halfway through for her morning nap. Then the boys eat outside which inspires them to play for about an hour and a half (lunch included). And since I have spent so much time with them I don't feel as guilty doing my own thing in the afternoon while Parker and Gwen sleep. I will clean, blog, scrapbook, whatever I want to do. Gavin is self entertained or sometimes he'll work on art projects next to me or watch TV in my room so we can talk easier.
As far as taking time to teach the alphabet or whatever, DON'T!!! My experience is that kids learn better when learning is natural. I have tried to take out 15-30 minutes to teach Gavin and it was not good. We both hated it and argued a lot. He learned his colors, shapes, recognized numbers to 10, could count to 10, and learned about half the alphabet by the time he was 2 and I had never sat down to teach him. He just picked it up from everyday life. I have heard that reading to your kids is the best way to teach them letter recognition. You don't even need to get phonics books or alphabet books, just read to show a love of reading.
I don't know if any of that helped. You could try to assign different times of the day specific activities with a definite beginning and end time but like you, I enjoy the flexibility so you don't have to go out every day if it doesn't work out. Let us know how things work out for you.
thanks tristan for your input. it was great to hear what another mom's day is like (and to find out it's similar to mine!) and i really appreciated what you said about evaluating my current routine b/c maybe it's working better than i think it is :)i will keep you updated on any changes i make and how they work.
i think the main reason why i thought we might need more structure around here was b/c evan's type of personality might benefit from it. he likes to turn everything into a power struggle so i thought if we did things at certain scheduled times that might ease the power struggles a bit.
For me, I like to have a routine for what we do when we get up, eat, nap, and go to bed.
Young kids learn best through play so it's really more about the how and what than the when and personality plays a big role. I enjoy exploring my kid's interests. When my son starts showing interest in a subject we check out books from the Jr. Non-fiction section of the library. We've checked out everything from trains to the digestive system. He is intrigued by everything and loves to learn, so teaching him is easy (he's 4). My daughter (2 1/2) is much more subtle. She learned by watching her brother learn. I don't remember ever teaching her shapes or colors or letters, but she knows them all. She really enjoys books, but her taste is more unpredictable. She seemed to show an interest in elephants, but when I checked out books on elephants she didn't even want to read them. I think that when it comes to learning, each kid is different. Try introducing things through play. I like homemade matching games as a simple way to introduce things like letters.
Power Struggles are a different beast entirely. Try looking for ways you can give him a choice where both choices are acceptable and he can feel like he has some power but you still have control and never let him get what he wants by being bad.
Power struggles. I hear you there. Gavin turns everything into a power struggle too.
Evan may benefit from more structure and he may not. When Gavin was in his summer program we had to be more structured at home in order to leave on time. The power struggles escalated because there was a definite time frame to get things done in.
Choices when choices are appropriate help, like your friend suggested. But when it's seemingly non-negotiable you have to get creative. I told Gavin I would take him to school in his pajamas if he didn't get dressed (and maybe I shouldn't have done this but it worked) I told him the other kids would laugh at him for not getting dressed. When he refused to buckle up I would start the van and that got him moving quickly. But it was very frustrating that every morning was such a fight. He's like me and loves to fight. I just don't remember being that way until I was a teenager. Good luck with everything. E-mail me if you need to vent or bounce ideas around or whatever.
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